Monday, May 14, 2012

What's That Smell?

Both my husband and I have noses like hound dogs.  We are both obsessed with how our house smells.  Our favorite scents are fresh laundry, ocean breeze, linen, or lemon.  You wouldn’t believe the amount of chemicals we use around the house to make sure it smells “fresh.” 

Now that little Tilmon Edward has made his debut we’re limited in what chemicals we can use and trust me, a lemon Yankee Candle is no match for a chocolate lab and a trash can full of dirty diapers.  I’m like a tasmanian devil when I enter the nursery and catch the whiff of a bad smell: clothes to the laundry room, empty the diaper pail, wipe off the changing table, vacuum the floor, and dust.  This is my slightly OCD routine every morning (well for the last month anyway). 

Last Friday I lost my mind.  The maid hasn’t been here in a month (yes we have a maid – go on and judge us, but it’s not as expensive as you think and I’m just over scrubbing toilets) and I couldn’t track down the smell.  It’s amazing what you can do during your baby’s two hour nap.  I went room to room sanitizing everything in my sight.  All of the usual suspects had been dealt with:

·         Nursery – all clothes/linens/burp cloths were in the laundry room, trash can empty of all diapers and disinfected, all toys wiped down.  Note to self: NEVER smell a burp cloth to see if it is clean.  Always assume it’s dirty, it’s just not worth risking sticking your sensitive nose anywhere near in the event it’s been used.

·         Living Room – dog bed washed, floors swept, all surfaces dusted, clear of burp cloths and pacifiers, chairs vacuumed, blankets washed

·         Our room – sheets changed, all laundry put up and washed, bathroom cleaned (wiped down at least – again, I’m on scrubbing strike), everything dusted, rug vacuumed

·         Guest Bedroom – Hasn’t been used since February but I still vacuumed and dusted just in case the smell could be found there

·         Spare Bathroom – baby bathtub/bucket wiped down, all washcloths in the laundry room, all surfaces wiped down

·         Kitchen – took the trash out, wiped down counters (ewe – our countertops can hide lots of spills), bleached the sink, ran the disposal just in case, cleaned out the refrigerator.  All dishes washed and put away.  Swept the floor.

I go outside for some fresh air to reset and pat myself on my back.  I walk back in and do a sniff test.  It is most assuredly better but there is still the faint smell of stale pee and sour milk.  I give up and since Teddy is still sleeping I decide to hop in the shower.  I go to pull the shirt over my head and damn near throw up.  The bad smell is my shirt.  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.  I’m exhausted and generally disappointed in myself.  I could really use a nap or 30 minutes to just zone out and watch a Bones episode, but of course the second my hiney hits the couch…..waaa  waaa waaa.  Time to feed the baby.

On the brightside, with all of the housework done our cinco de mayo was free and clear for some good old fashioned mexican fun.

1 comment:

  1. this is hysterical! rookie mistake...ALWAYS ALWAYS assume it is YOU that smells. its your shoulder. your shirt. your hand. sick but true!